I simply do not understand.

I wanted to run away from the whole situation, but He called me to stay.

I wanted to KNOW all about it, but He asked me to be still and know that He is God.

I wanted more, but He took and broke what I already had.

I wanted to be cold and unfeeling towards those who had hurt me, and He filled me with His love, compassion, and joy.

I wanted to be wrong, and He proved Himself more righteous.

I wanted to be right, and He showed me Christ’s humility.

I wanted seclusion, more thought, and He brought a friend, a conversation.

I wanted personal perfection, and He redeemed my imperfection into His perfection.

I wanted my own, and He whispered,” You are mine.”

I stood watching my self die, writhing, panting, anguished, and saw Christ resurrect, in victory, in grace, in eternal life.

I admitted my starvation and He fed me.

I acknowledged my deadly thirst, and He tipped the cup of cool, refreshing, everlasting water to my cracked, split, bloody lips.

I saw I was naked, and He dressed me in His own holy robes.

I am nothing

He is all.

And yet, into my emptiness, He overflowed Himself.

How vast. How marvelous. How astounding. How wonderous. How unutterable.

But here He is.

Immanuel.

God with us.

God in me.

Changing. Satisfying. Fulfilling. Establishing.

It’s Christ Who reigns.

Self who lies 6 feet below.

While He reigns, there it stays.

I’m free.

-LIZ-