A Testimony of Christ’s Compassion

When I first started this blog, I had a specific purpose in mind. It was about how I could use this blog to do whatever it was I had in mind, to get the truth out there about living right or something. I honestly can’t even recall anymore what original intent it was I had.

I knew that God wanted me to start a blog, He gave me its name, and its focus was for young women. But that was about all I sat still for. I ran off with my ideas and plans, leaving God patiently waiting back at the beginning point.

I thought I was going to change a life, solve a problem, astound an audience with my brilliant ideas. I didn’t realize, and still can’t fully, how this endeavor was meant to change me. Bring me to humility and break down walls I didn’t even know existed.

This past week, through various means, God has brought me to see that I don’t have to perform or change anything for me to matter. He created me, and my personality, to bring Him glory. And when I decide, nope, I don’t like that, or I don’t want Your way, I’m telling God to stay out while I “fix” this to my liking. But the thing is that, I wasn’t made for my enjoyment, I was designed, created, and redeemed for God’s purposes.

I’ve been listening to a book that God has been using to break me in the most gracious way. I have struggled with anxiety and depression and anger issues, for as long as I can remember. Their expression was very overt when I was younger, but now as I grow older, it’s more like they have buried a hole and wait until very strange times to come out. God has been showing me that because I felt I could never measure up or be good enough to Him, I was so very insecure and defensive and hyper-vigilant for any sign of a breach in my shell.

This book, titled “Gentle and Lowly; The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers.” by Dane Ortland, digs into Scripture, down to Christ’s heart. The title is taken from Matthew 11:29.

Take my yoke on you and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Matthew 11:29 Net

I have read those verses throughout my life, but until I started listening to this book, I didn’t realize how important my view of how Christ feels towards me is. And that thought of Christ’s feelings towards sinners, almost seems unbiblical or something, at least it was that way for me.

But it really is so, so important. For example, if you think that what someone feels is negative toward you, are you going to go to them on a day when all you want to do is curl up in a ball and cry? I certainly wouldn’t want to; I wouldn’t want to give them anymore ammunition against me.

Well, back to how this impacts our relationship with Christ. He is perfect, utterly pure, holy, blameless, without a speck of sin. And we humans are vile, wretched, disgusting, not a place on us is clean.

Our tendency when it comes to touching or dealing with filth of any sort is repulsion. We subconsciously feel that Christ must feel the same way towards us, if our response, as corrupt and nasty as we are, towards filth, is disgust.

The mind picture I get is Him reaching from just close enough down to us, wrinkling His nose, gagging at the stench, swallowing with determination. “I WILL obey my Father. I WILL do my duty.”

But that isn’t how He feels toward us at all! Here are some Scriptures that show us Christ’s heart.

Now when Jesus heard this he went away from there privately in a boat to an isolated place. But when the crowds heard about it, they followed Him on foot from the towns. As He got out, he saw the large crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick.

Matthew 14:13-14 net

When He saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were bewildered and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.

Matthew 9:36

For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that although he was rich, He became poor for your sakes, so that you by His poverty could become rich.

2 Corinthians 8:9

There are so many more Bible references to Christ’s compassion; I would encourage you to look them up and quietly sit with Him, meditating on who our dear Lord and Savior is and His heart towards you.

How this ties into my insecurity and depression tendencies is that, because of Christ (and His heart that is lowly and humble), I don’t have to protect myself or defend myself or be afraid of mistakes.

I am utterly secure in Him, and its based fully in Who He is and what He has done. I can be truly at rest knowing He sees me and He’s with me in my hard. This doesn’t mean I can go around still living a sinful life, because it’s all Christ. No, if I’m truly at rest in Christ, my life will be a channel of His grace and love.

I highly recommend getting a copy of Gentle and Lowly. I’m listening to it on Libby. It really did bring to light lies I didn’t realize were there. And also brought to my heart the Truth of His grace, mercy, and redemption.

I pray that God used this post to minister to a fellow sinner and sufferer. You aren’t alone! Jesus is right there, and He will never leave you if you come to Him.

Everyone whom the Father gives me will come to me, and the one who comes to me I will never send away.

JOhn 6:37

–LIZ–